The cost of a step

I sincerely wish that life could exist without money or at least that I had enough money to get by without my thoughts being consumed by it.

I have thought about money a lot for most of my life. We didn’t have a lot of it when I was young. We lived on a single income and mom put my sister and I through private school at that.

I always wanted to help. I wanted to do my part and help my mom with all that she had to pay for. Thus, I got a job as soon as I possibly could and have had one ever since I was a sophomore in high school. (Except for the year that I took to get my first Masters degree.)

When I first got a job I thought that things would get easier. I was wrong. Then as I got closer to graduation and getting a real job I thought that things would get even easier when I got a real paycheck.

When I first started teaching it felt like I did have a lot of money and could spend it on my mom (personal training sessions) and my family (actual Christmas gifts) but then reality (aka bills) sunk in.

Now that I’m planning on going back to school and have shifted back to savings mode the bills decided to multiply.

First, one of my students stole my replacement ipod. Yes, 2.5 weeks after I purchased it my ipod was stolen. I know exactly when it happened. I probably discovered only minutes after it disappeared yet I don’t think I will ever get it back.

I can’t even explain how much off course this event threw me. All my thoughts for the rest of the day were consumed with this. I couldn’t stop thinking about the money it would cost to get another. I had just had to spend all my extra money from my paycheck on a personal training session and registration for the Praxis test. I couldn’t stop thinking about the time involved in putting all the music and podcasts back on.

I had to take a step back and pray. I could not continue obsessing with it. God cleared my head. He helped me figure out my finances. He provided the money I needed almost exactly. I had only $2 leftover from my last paycheck but I had money leftover. God is so good.

The most recent bill comes in the form of a new AC unit. This isn’t my expense but any major expense for my mom weighs heavy on me too. I don’t know how this will work out for her or us.  God hasn’t shown us yet.

I know though that God has something to teach me through all of this. My life isn’t free in either the monetary or spiritual sense. There is a cost for everything. In the end though, that cost is completely paid for by God. I must trust Him for each step I take. I may not know how the step is going to be paid for but He does because he has already paid for it.

In an unrelated note: I have decided to start a writing blog since Nanowrimo is only a month away. Please check it out! I hope to post there at least weekly. steppingwords.wordpress.com

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