Letting go to move forward

This morning I chose to let go of the idea of becoming a graduate assistant to help pay for graduate school.

I knew when I applied that the fact that I attended North Hills Community Church might affect either my application for enrollment or my application for employment as a Graduate Assisstant. The one barrier that I allowed to moving forward in either respect was being barred from attending my church.

Wednesday I called to check on my Graduate Assistant application and the lady I spoke to mentioned the fact that she had made a note of where I attended church and that it would be a problem if I intended to pursue the application.

I explained that I have been a member since I was sixteen and that I live with my mother who is also a member and who is the assistant to the teaching pastor. I asked if she would ask if those facts would make a difference.

I had a feeling that they wouldn’t. I was right. I had an email on my gmail account when I got home from that lady saying that she had spoken to the Provost and he had reiterated the rule that no one employed by Bob Jones can attend North Hills Community Church.

I have to be honest. My first inclination was to protest. I wanted to list off the names of all the women who I knew had attended North Hills while working at Bob Jones. I wanted I guess just to argue the point even though I knew it would get me nowhere.

Instead of protesting in my reply email I asked if it was possible for me to respond personally to the provost. I’m fairly certain that she did not explain what I had told her. I thought about it a lot for the rest of the night and this morning again when I woke up.

God gave me such clarity, the very clarity I prayed for. He put this barrier in my pursuit of a Graduate Assistantship. He did not take away the possibility of being a student. He will provide the money that I need to go to school. If that means that I will have to find a part time job to work while I take classes then I will. The only time in my educational career that I did not work while going to school was prior to my sophomore year of high school and during my MAT.

So this morning I found the email from the lady at Bob Jones and typed another response. I asked her to disregard my previous email. I told her that I had prayed a lot about the decision and felt like God did not want me to pursue the Graduate Assistant position.

I actually feel very confident about that decision. I’m not sure how God will provide the money for school but I know he will.

I’m actually not sure of a lot of things right now since I am still waiting for the results from my test. I am sure of one thing though. God has my best interests in mind and He will direct my steps.


1 Comment

Filed under Masters #2

One response to “Letting go to move forward

  1. Wow! It is amazing when we allow God to be our guide and trust Him. There is a peace from knowing, really knowing that God has everything in hand and we can let go. God will provide.

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