Let Go (reverb10 #5)

Unlike yesterday, today’s prompt really jumped out at me. What did I let go of this year?

I let go of a dream, as hard as that is to say, it’s true.

Over the course of my life I have had many dreams of what I imagined that I would do when I grew up. (I’m still getting there.) When I was in elementary school I wanted to teach whatever grade I happened to be in. Then came junior high and I decided that I didn’t want to become a teacher. In high school I decided that I wanted to become a pediatric oncologist. Yes, I was that specific. I got to high school biology, doubted myself and went back to my first idea, teaching elementary school.

Then came college. The dream shifted several times. After one education class and one health class (we learned all about nerve cells) I decided that I wanted to do something in the medical field. After much deliberation I ended up with nursing. I transferred to my alma mater and started off in nursing After two semesters God gave me an aha moment and directed me towards history. The next semester I took an educational psychology class and decided that I wanted to teach history. I researched programs and found the MAT program at Clemson which I completed.

My dream hit a road bump called recession. I lost the job I thought I would have at my student teaching school and ended up teaching Spanish at my current school. This year God gave me another aha moment when I realized that I want to go back to school to study history and that my passion with teaching lies in history, not Spanish.

The dream had another component though. I always thought that when I finally got a real job I would stay there for years and years until I got married or retired. I also idealized public school teaching. Everyone said that it was tough and I acknowledged that it would be tough but I don’t really think that it sunk in until I actually entered that world.

I’m not staying years though. I don’t know actually that I will ever go back to public school teaching, or middle school teaching. I don’t know what will happen because I let go of the carefully crafted dream I have been tending for years

I always had a plan for my life: high school, college, marriage, job forever. Obviously God had a few other ideas. Next year I’m going out on a limb because I don’t know what I’m going to do after I finish school and I’m learning to be okay with that.

I normally don’t like cliches but this one fits most appropriately. “Let go and let God.”

I’m taking my hands off the steering wheel. I’m letting go of the pen writing my story. God will direct my path. He will write my story.


1 Comment

Filed under Reverb10

One response to “Let Go (reverb10 #5)

  1. Your closing line says it all.

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